给汤姆的一封信

给汤姆的一封信

作者：

来源：《阅读与作文（英语初中版）》2009年第08期

Dear Tom,

What are you doing these days? Now let me tell you something about our autumn outing yesterday.

On October 5 ,we went for an outing to a lake. It was about 100 kilometers west. After a quick breakfast, we gathered at the school gate. Our bus started at 7:00 a. m. One and half hours later, we got to the place we had been expecting. It was very beautiful.

Ten minutes later, we enjoyed rowing small boats on the lake, talked and laughed.1

At that time, one of my classmates asked all of us to have a rowing race. We moved so fast in the lake like a fish when our teacher said \"Go\"2.As fast as possible with my friends, I tried my best to row. 3 At last our boat was the first one to reach the finishing line. All the visitors nearby cheered for us. How happy we felt !Then we had a delicious lunch in a small restaurant.

In the afternoon, we went on climbing4 the hill.In the woods, we saw many plants we had never seen before. We collected some samples. In the woods we also saw a lot of wild animals such as wild cocks and many beautiful birds. The farmer told us there were no such animals and plants several years ago. Thanks to planting more trees on the hills, the animals come back and more and more plants grow. 5 As I was admiring the beautiful view, I was thinking about how important and necessary it is to protect our earth.

How we enjoyed the time!But it was already 4:00 p. m. , we had to go back home,so we went home. 6 Do you like outing? Please tell me something about your activity. And give my regards to your parents. Best wishes ! Yours, Wang Wei

亲爱的汤姆:

最近你正在干什么?借此信告诉你我这里的情况,昨天我们去秋游了。

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10月5号我们去湖边郊游,地点在西边大约100千米处。匆匆地吃过早饭,我们聚集在学校门口,乘坐公共汽车,上午7:00出发。一个半小时以后,我们到达了期待已久的目的地,那是一个非常漂亮的地方。

10分钟以后,我们欢快地在湖里划着小船,说说笑笑,开心极了。这时,一个同学建议大家划船比赛。当我们的老师喊:“一、二、三,开始(跑)”时,我们好像湖中的鱼一样,向前游去。我们尽力向前划,最后,我们的船第一个到达终点。附近所有的旅游者都为我们喝彩,我们感到多快乐呀!接着,我们在小饭馆吃午饭,美餐—一顿。

下午,我们去爬山。树林中的小山上有很多的植物,我们采了一些以前从来没有看到过的植物做标本。还可以看到许多野生动物,比如:野公鸡,许多漂亮的小鸟。农民告诉我们,几年前没有这样的动物、植物。多亏山上又种了很多树木,郁郁葱葱,动物回来·了,越来越多的植物也茁壮成长。正当我赞美这迷人的景色时,我在想,保护我们的地球是必要的也是重要的。 我们多么喜欢这美丽的景色啊!不知不觉到了下午4:00,该回家了。你喜欢 郊游吗?请告诉我你的近况,并代我向你的爸爸妈妈问好。 祝好! 你的 王伟 精彩点拨

此文属于书信写作,是十分常用的应用文。本文的优点体现在:

①书信格式正确。②全文重点突出,中心明确,详略得当。对划船比赛和森林旅游进行了重点描写。③用词较为准确,使用了较为复杂的短语句型。④结构连贯,能较为准确地运用一些定语从句和其他从句,使文章逻辑更为紧密,⑤结尾前对保护环境的思考突出了此次郊游的感想与收获,是对全文主题的升华。

当然,文中也存在一些错误和不足,如:①处应改为talk in gand laughing。用u,—ing形式作伴随状语。②“Go”应改为“One,two,three,Go!”“一、二、三开始(跑)!”(口令)③\"As fast as…,I tried my best to row\"语意重复,并且前后代词也不一致,违犯英语句法原则。根据上下文意思,应改为“We tried our best to row.”才正确。④根据句意应改为went on to climb,因为划船和爬山是两件事。⑤根据时态一致性原则,句中\"come\"和\"grow\"应改用\"came\" \"grew\"才正确。⑥全句有重复之感,应改成\"we had to go home,\"才正确。

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总之,本文是一篇较好的学生习作。